


walk me home in the pouring rain. (why doesn't this feel like home?)

by Quinton_Hawk



Series: Quin's Cinderella Phenomenon addiction [3]
Category: Cinderella Phenomenon (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/M, Genaro is the worst father and that's a hill I die on, Grief/Mourning, Lucette is guilty and angry, Lucette lets all hell break loose, References to Depression, Survivor Guilt, The pairing is left ambiguous so imagine whatever, Waltz/Lucette is vaguely implied but no not really, what else can I say?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:07:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22595284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quinton_Hawk/pseuds/Quinton_Hawk
Summary: Lucette is alone.She shouldn't be.(I don't wanna go home. I've made up my mind. I don't need to see you now.)
Relationships: Lucette Riella Britton/Undisclosed, Lucette Riella Britton/Waltz Cresswell, Lucette/Whatever character you imagine here
Series: Quin's Cinderella Phenomenon addiction [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1610977
Kudos: 23





	walk me home in the pouring rain. (why doesn't this feel like home?)

Lucette is alone. There’s no one out here for miles around, maybe more. The only living thing near her was her horse, but it ran off a little while after Lucette started to lose control. Lucette didn’t blame it, she would be scared too.

(She _was_ scared. She didn’t run like the horse did. She should have.)

She isn’t sure how she actually managed to get this far without some kind of manhunt being sent out. Though, there might be a search party that has yet to find her. The idea of being hunted down like an animal makes Lucette’s stomach churn.

She wouldn’t put it past them to chase her down, even after she left a note. The note wasn’t exactly truthful, but it was close enough for her comfort.

She’s been gone for… five hours? No, no… six. She left at nine-o-clock in the morning, and it was now around three-o-clock in the afternoon. The sun was still shining brightly, but the light was mostly blocked away from the small clearing by the trees, creating patterns of sunlight that move across the grass with the gentle swaying of the leaves in the breeze.

She doesn’t even _want_ to be here… so why did she run? She told them in the note that she left that she would be back by eleven-o-clock… that was four hours ago. They are definitely looking for her, but this far out they wouldn’t find her unless she wanted to be found.

(I don’t need to see you right now. I don’t need to see you look at me the way you do.)

She should start walking back, but she just can’t seem to get her mind under control. She just can’t clear her head. It’s like something is throwing itself against the walls of her mind that refuses to be quieted any longer, like it’s been stuck for too long and needs to come out.

It’s been there for too long, and it finally feels like it’s boiling over.

This feeling of… _Betrayal._

****

Lucette was the one to take another side in the end, she was the one who broke her promises, so why does she feel like she’s the one who was back stabbed?

( _Because you were,_ it whispers. _She said she would love your forever. She lied._ )

She remembers her mother’s last words.

(I did love you, Lucette.)

There’s a snapping in her mind that Lucette could swear is an audible crack that echoes across the valley. She remembers that those were Hildyr’s last words only because she wanted Lucette to suffer in this pit of _guilt_.

She couldn’t say that it didn’t work. Lucette still has nightmares every night about her mother’s blood staining her hands.

She could think of so many things to be angry for that she has tried in vain to let go of.

Her father.

(Why…? You were supposed to protect me. You were supposed to love me! Now _they_ are everything to you? Then tell me. Tell me, _Father_. **_Just what am I to you?!_** )

Her people.

(Stay away from me. _You never gave me a chance_ , so why should I have mercy on you?)

Her friends.

(You cursed me, and told me that I deserved to be punished, and then used me for my power. You told me I must be good without telling me how, and then hated me when I failed. Do you have any idea how hard it is to fight the only person who has ever **_loved you?_** )

Her family.

 _(_ You won’t take my throne. You aren’t better than me, no matter what they say, no matter what your father thinks you are. _Your_ father, not my father. You stole him from me, and took my place. He’ll never love me like he loves you, but you won’t take my throne, not like you took him. _You can take that from my cold dead hands.)_

She is so, so angry. She can’t stand it.

The small breeze turns into a strong one, and the sun dims with shifting clouds.

I was _innocent_! But you still took everything from me. Everything. I did only what I was taught to do, and you hated me. Why? _Why_? For what? I didn’t do anything, I swear!

The first raindrop hits her shoulder, but she couldn’t care less. This fury for being treated so unfairly is finally coming to the surface.

She said she could let it go. She convinced them of it with pretty lies, but since when did they care what she said? Only when it benefits them. When it doesn’t, she’s considered less than human, less than witch, less than fairy. When it doesn’t benefit them, she’s nothing to them. What she says is nothing to them.

They all saw… _her_ in Lucette’s place.

_LucetteHildyrLucetteHildyrLucetteHildyrLucetteHildyrLucette---_

It all went back to her, didn’t it?

_~~Lucette~~ Hildyr-_

Is that all they saw in her?

_~~Lucette~~ -_

They saw nothing in her.

_Hildyr-_

Except for another’s shadow. Whenever someone said Lucette’s name, it felt like they were trying not to say _hers_.

She could never be redeemed. How foolish of her to think she could be. They would never want her as she was, she would have to change everything she was for them to care about her at all.

Lucette can’t tell if the water streaming down her face is the heavy rain that’s soaked through her clothes or her own hot tears of anger. It isn’t _right_. It isn’t _fair_. She doesn’t want to be alone.

…But she is. And there’s nothing she can do about it.

The storm is loud. The thunder rolls above her head and lightning strikes a tree nearby. She can’t hear anything besides the rushing of the wind by her ears and the deafening thunder. She isn’t just _at_ the eye of the storm; she _is_ the eye of the storm.

She can’t hear. She can’t think. She can’t _breathe_.

Lucette screams. Loud. Loud enough to be heard over the storm. Loud enough to make her throat bleed. Loud enough to make her own ears ring.

Her knees give out underneath her, and she starts to fall, screaming up at the sky that she wishes would turn black so she couldn’t see her magic pouring out around her.

Her knees hit the earth and a powerful release of magic seeps into the ground for as far as she could see.

Flowers, trees and vines grow up out of the ground, and they grow taller than any other tree Lucette has ever seen.

She hates that she can do this. She hates that she’s a witch like her mother.

She hates her mother. She hates her father for only seeing her mother when he looks at her. She hates because she’s been wronged and told she should be thankful.

It was wrong. She didn’t _deserve_ to be punished, she didn’t _deserve_ to be in pain, she didn’t _deserve_ to be _cold and scared and alone and—_

She didn’t.

But it’s all her fault.

She plants both hands on the ground and digs her fingers into the earth, softened by the rain. She screams louder and the ground itself shakes as flowers are ripped apart and trees crack and fall in seconds. Lucette snaps her eyes shut tight and drowns out the sounds of trees snapping and the thunder with her screams.

It feels like release, letting this overwhelming power that’s been trapped inside her for years go, and trying to harness it.

 _Don’t push yourself_ , Waltz would have said. _Don’t go too far._

Is it because he was scared of what she was capable of? Everyone was scared of her.

Her lungs heaved and she felt faint, but the release felt good. Too good. She doesn’t want to go back.

**_You have to go back._ **

I don’t want to.

**_It doesn’t matter. It’s time to go home._ **

****

_NO._

She drove her hands up against the wind and felt flowers spring back to life underneath her call; felt blooms spring up from the soil and grass revive itself, spreading towards the sky at her beck and call. It felt like control. It felt like _power_.

It was intoxicating, running through her veins and clouding her mind like a potent drug. It was a painkiller she didn’t know she needed.

She screams again, but this time it was directed at something. Some _one_.

“Do you hear that, Hildyr?” She cries, feeling like she drowning.

“Do you hear me, Mother?” She calls out in a feral scream up at the sky that pours down her face. The memories of that woman were only a parasite. All she needed to do was just rip, it, out. She wants to scratch it out of her brain with her fingernails.

“I don’t need you anymore!” She sobs, letting her head fall into her hands. Her own tears feel like magma burning against her palms.

“I don’t… need you anymore…” She whimpers. Her fingernails dig into her skin, the sting taking her mind away from her inner pain.

She would yell out her sorrows and let them drain into this earth that had been so cruel to her. Her sorrows about the woman who tore out her heart when she was just a baby, about the man who stole away what was left of it and would never know, about the father she never had, about the sleepless nights where she expected to be punished just for breathing.

“I hate you.” She whispers. She can’t tell if she’s talking to them, the sky, or herself.

“I hate you so much.” Her voice is scratchy and raw. She can taste her own blood on her tongue.

She shouldn’t hate them.

She _couldn’t_ hate them.

They were all she had.

She was wrong… she didn’t hate them at all.

She hates herself.

There’s something so wrong with her, that she could only be treated this way. Something so wrong with her that her own father and mother couldn’t love her. She doesn’t know what it is, maybe she’ll never know, but there’s something inside her mind that sinks its claws in and tells her to make them hurt like she does.

That was what the only person who ever loved Lucette had told her to do, but that person is gone now.

No one would ever love her like that again. She felt hollow. Lucette had told herself that she didn’t need love, that she didn’t _want_ love.

But that was all she wanted right now. The tears in her eyes feel like fire as they fall on her skin. The headache behind her eyes only grows stronger as another sob rips itself from her raw throat. She wanted to be held and told that she would be okay, that she was loved, even if it was a lie.

The wet grass kisses her bruised knees as the rain starts to slow, and the sky becomes lighter. She lets out another quiet sob into the palms of her hands, as if she could push the grief back inside her body, and keep it disguised.

Maybe they were right. Maybe she deserved to be punished. Maybe she deserved to suffer.

…Maybe she deserved to be alone.

Lucette closes her eyes, and lifts her head up to face the sky. She can feel the sunshine on her face. The storm on the outside is over, but it feels like the storm on the inside has just begun.

(I don’t wanna go home… I’ve made up my mind. I don’t need to see you right now. I don’t need to see you right now.)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys I hope you liked this short fic.  
> This is something I kind of belted out in some spare time because I had some emotions and stuff.
> 
> (I'm sorry)
> 
> But hey, if you have any comments about it, tell me. I read all of my comments and will reply if you have a question.


End file.
